This week we’re continuing our “play” series by talking with sex radical, feelings-witch and facilitator Carly Boyce. Carly tells me what play means in kink communities, and then we delve into consent culture, queer family, the relationship between power and sex, and a whole lot more. Want to read more about any of these topics? Here are some links!
- Carly writes an incredible tarot column for GUTS magazine that literally makes me cry whenever I read it, and you should read it too.
- While you’re at it, go check out Carly’s Instagram, which is full of tarot wisdom, knitting, and good dogs.
- We talk about what the Aziz Ansari article taught us about consent culture (aka how little vocabulary patriarchal society has for consent) and here’s a great article that unpacks some of that.
- Don’t know what homonationalism is? Here’s a primer.
- And here’s some more about whiteness in kink and poly communities and how it intersects with class and wealth.
- The speaker who talked about sex in queer studies was Robyn Wiegman, and she’s published an article on the topic called “Sex and Negativity; or, What Queer Theory Has for You” (which I’m pretty sure is paywalled–if you can’t access it let me know and we’ll figure something out).
- Finally, here’s that article I mentioned about trans drag queens talking back to RuPaul, including the iconic line: “The primary tenet of drag is turning gender into a fart joke.”
Download Episode / Read Transcription
The podcast theme song is “Mesh Shirt” by Mom Jeans off their album “Chub Rub.” Listen to the whole album here or learn more about them here. Carly’s theme song is Loretta Lynn’s “Fist City.”
Secret Feminist Agenda is recorded on the traditional and unceded territories of the Squamish, Musqueam, and Tsleil-Waututh First Nations.
Secret Feminist Agenda 
Still loving your podcast ❤
There may be reasons why you don't want to do this, and you've probably already thought about it, so feel free to ignore, but for the captioning, you could always start a Youtube channel? I leave the captions on a lot when I don't want to turn the sound up too far and I haven't noticed any glaring mistakes lately; the auto-captioning is much better than it used to be and can be edited at any time for mistakes and afaik it's free. You don't need actual videos to have a youtube channel, you can just paste a single image over an audio file using free software – but converting it does cost some (which is probably the biggest issue with any solution, of course). I think it could be popular, though? 🙂
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(*cost some TIME, I meant to say. Can’t figure out how to edit, sorry. x_x)
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Your episodes are always wonderful and relevant to my life, and the timing on this one couldn’t have been more perfect. It was exactly what I needed to hear right now. Thank you , both of You .
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I re-listened to this episode today, as this past weekend I attended my first play party- an event put on by the queer film festival in town. The first time I listened to this episode it really added to my background research on the kink scene that I have been wanting to explore for quite some time but been unsure about approaching. Having Carly’s comments on their experiences definitely helped me feel more comfortable going to this event as a newcomer. The episode is just generally a productive listen outside of its kink context too, so thank you very much, Hannah and Carly, for that! Additionally, I wanted to share that at this play party I have never felt so safe in a space that I have never entered into before, which I think speaks volumes in line with much of what Carly was saying, and contrary many notions people may have when they think about BDSM spaces. And a note on play, one of the first lines of dialog after a more demonstration scene I participated in was ‘That was a lot of fun.’ ‘Yes, that WAS a lot of fun!’
Cheers!
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This is so wonderful to hear! I’ve sent your comment to Carly as well, as I’m certain she’ll be delighted!
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