Content warning for discussions of death and family loss.
HI IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! Listen, I know a lot of adults don’t like to make, like, a THING out of their birthdays, but I am not one of those adults. Let’s just blame it on my Leo Rising, which likes attention. Don’t worry though, this episode isn’t just about me and why everyone should pay attention to me, it’s mostly about this complex business of growing up / getting old(er), and how it intersects with all kinds of other messy things like the normative timelines of adulthood and our shifting relationships to our bodies and the ongoing legacy of family loss. PLUS Kaarina follows up with some strategies for anti-capitalist self-care. Really, this episode is an all-around winner.
- Read this Hyperbole and Half post about adulting if you haven’t already (or you know what, even if you’ve already read it, read it again).
- Here’s the article on being a queer, ace grad student and “facing the future without a map”.
- Stacy London talks about “grow[ing] up without becoming a conventional grown-up” and how that impacts her style.
- Also I don’t talk about it on the episode but I feel like that “By the age of 35” meme is PRETTY relevant to this discussion so go read about it.
And here’s the episode!
Download Episode / Read Transcription
The podcast theme song is “Mesh Shirt” by Mom Jeans off their album “Chub Rub.” Listen to the whole album here or learn more about them here. Follow me @hkpmcgregor, follow Kaarina @kaarinasaurus, and tweet about the podcast using #SecretFeministAgenda.
Secret Feminist Agenda is recorded on the traditional and unceded territories of the Squamish, Musqueam, and Tsleil-Waututh First Nations.
3 thoughts on “Episode 2.19 Growing Up”
Hey! I’m the author of that piece you linked on being a queer ace grad student. I’m super excited and flattered to see that it got picked up over here (I still have a huge soft spot for it).
I’ve definitely wondered about what will happen when (if) I achieve my goal of graduating and finding a tenure position, so I was really interested in hearing about the ways that you’ve recalibrated. I think, for me, it’s really hard for me to come up with future personal goals (that is, goals related to me and me alone), but a lot easier for me to see what needs to be done around me (whether academically or in my communities) and then put myself to work doing that. Which is bad in some ways (doesn’t actually make the future any less nebulous) but good in others (keeps me from being at loose ends while I try to figure out what I’m supposed to do next).
Also, this may be of interest to you, but the Carnival of Aces for April of this year wound up being heavily about the future and conceptualizing a future: https://demiandproud.wordpress.com/2018/05/03/april-carnival-of-aces-all-the-birds-but-us-the-posts/ (My post has kicked off a bunch of posts about queer futurity in ace blogging communities, which has me pretty jazzed; this is one from today that is really good: https://aceadmiral.tumblr.com/post/174287800158/the-unreachable-star)
Thanks so much for sharing these links! I’ll definitely check them out — this is a topic I’m eager to read more about.
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