taking deep breaths through the pain
Content warning for discussions of chronic pain and illness, drug addiction, and cancer.
I jokingly tweeted a screenshot of the audio file for this episode with the caption “The telltale shape of a hard-to-record minisode.” I was referring to the long, conspicuous gaps that betray how hard I find it to talk about some topics. Episode 2.3 “On Being Seen” had a similar shape, pre-edit. The hard episodes, for me, are usually the personal ones. And this is a personal one. I’m talking about pain and how it links to trauma; and I’m talking about the incredible work of disability studies scholars and disability justice activists. And because I’m talking about a bunch of really great writing, here are a bunch of links:
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- I recommend everything by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, especially their newest book of poetry, Tonguebreaker
- I didn’t mention this in the episode, but I also recommend The Empathy Exams by Leslie Jamison, which thinks in really interesting ways about the difference (or lack of difference) between “real” and “imagined” pain
- Here are the pieces I read as recommended on Twitter. As usual, if there’s something you want to read but it’s paywalled, just let me know!
- “Pain Scale” by Eula Bliss
- An excerpt of Opium Eater: The New Confessions by Carlyn Zwarenstein
- “Recovering a Cripistemology of Pain: Leaky Bodies, Connective Tissue, and Feeling Discourse” by Alyson Patsavas
- “The Bodymind Problem and the Possibilities of Pain” by Margaret Price
- And here are the things recommended on Twitter than I haven’t had a chance to read yet:
- Ask Me About My Uterus: A Quest to Make Doctors Believe in Women’s Pain by Abby Norman
- The Rejected Body: Feminist Philosophical Reflections on Disability by Susan Wendell
- Sick: A Memoir by Porochista Khakpour (but here’s a great review)
- “Face of Rhythm” by Kim Hyesoon
The podcast theme song is “Mesh Shirt” by Mom Jeans off their album “Chub Rub.” Listen to the whole album here or learn more about them here. Follow me @hkpmcgregor, follow Kaarina @kaarinasaurus, and tweet about the podcast using #SecretFeministAgenda.
Secret Feminist Agenda is recorded and produced by Hannah McGregor on the traditional and unceded territories of the Squamish, Musqueam, and Tsleil-Waututh First Nations.
Secret Feminist Agenda 
I’m about to start my MA in English at Trent U this September, with a proposed research-creation piece largely in the area of critical pain theory and cultural studies. My curiosity in this field is admittedly heightened by my experience living with in a body with complex regional pain syndrome; I’m presently 26 and had an innocuous seeming fracture at 12 years of age, that has developed into a life-long, presently incurable, progressive condition that renders me in pain 24/7.
I’ve read many of the recommended works you’ve suggested and can’t wait to look into those that are unfamiliar to me! I have many recommendations if you are interested! If nothing else, I would check out—the book-length lyrical essay—Tender Points by Amy Berkowitz and the more theory-heavy—you seem to share that rare excitement reaction so many do not at this!—Inside Chronic Pain: An Intimate and Critical Account by Lous Heshusius.
As an aside, Dr. Robert Morrison had us read Zwarenstein’s nonvella for a Literature of Addiction seminar when it came out, and I was so profoundly moved by it. Following her on Twitter is actually how I came about this piece. To that end, I was very touched by this episode and, not having heard of SFA previously, am now very eager to check the rest out!
I would love to correspond on the topic further if you are interested! Thank you for being so respectful and self-aware about such a brutally difficult topic.
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