I don’t know about you but I’m having a crummy week and I really didn’t feel like recording a minisode and Kaarina suggested that we could just chat about our crummy weeks instead so we did that. We talk about complaining, and cats, and roller derby, and barbershop, and teaching, and mentorship, and Glow, and just a whole bunch of things, and here are some links:

• We talk a little bit about the pleasures of complaint, but did you know that brilliant feminist scholar Sara Ahmed has written extensively about the feminist complaint? I’ll probably do a whole minisode on this at some point, but in the meantime, you can start reading here.

• Read this if you want to know more about the Toronto attack and the ideology behind it. Content warning for violence and misogyny.

• If you would like to see my enormous chorus in action, here are our semi-finals and finals packages from Internationals in Vegas last year.

• Kaarina mentions Notes from a Feminist Killjoy, which you should definitely read if you haven’t yet!

• Great job. Now let’s all watch this trailer for Unfinished Song and cry.

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The podcast theme song is “Mesh Shirt” by Mom Jeans off their album “Chub Rub.” Listen to the whole album here or learn more about them here. Follow me @hkpmcgregor, follow Kaarina @kaarinasaurus, and tweet about the podcast using #SecretFeministAgenda.

Secret Feminist Agenda is recorded on the traditional and unceded territories of the Squamish, Musqueam, and Tsleil-Waututh First Nations.

This week we’re continuing our “play” series by talking with sex radical, feelings-witch and facilitator Carly Boyce. Carly tells me what play means in kink communities, and then we delve into consent culture, queer family, the relationship between power and sex, and a whole lot more. Want to read more about any of these topics? Here are some links!

• Carly writes an incredible tarot column for GUTS magazine that literally makes me cry whenever I read it, and you should read it too.
• While you’re at it, go check out Carly’s Instagram, which is full of tarot wisdom, knitting, and good dogs.
• We talk about what the Aziz Ansari article taught us about consent culture (aka how little vocabulary patriarchal society has for consent) and here’s a great article that unpacks some of that.
• Don’t know what homonationalism is? Here’s a primer.
• And here’s some more about whiteness in kink and poly communities and how it intersects with class and wealth.
• The speaker who talked about sex in queer studies was Robyn Wiegman, and she’s published an article on the topic called “Sex and Negativity; or, What Queer Theory Has for You” (which I’m pretty sure is paywalled–if you can’t access it let me know and we’ll figure something out).
• Finally, here’s that article I mentioned about trans drag queens talking back to RuPaul, including the iconic line: “The primary tenet of drag is turning gender into a fart joke.”

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The podcast theme song is “Mesh Shirt” by Mom Jeans off their album “Chub Rub.” Listen to the whole album here or learn more about them here. Carly’s theme song is Loretta Lynn’s “Fist City.”

Secret Feminist Agenda is recorded on the traditional and unceded territories of the Squamish, Musqueam, and Tsleil-Waututh First Nations.

This episode is just one big content warning. I’m talking about politicizing tragedy, and public mourning, and I touch on a lot of hard things and recent, awful events, including the Humboldt Broncos bus crash, the Quebec City Mosque shooting, the death of Coulten Boushie, as well as mass shootings and school shootings, cancer and suicide. If you’re not in the place to think about this stuff right now—including if the Humboldt Broncos crash impacted you personally—please please please tap out with my blessing. I’m going to talk about grief and politics and how they intersect, but if you’re grieving right now, you don’t owe me your attention.

• Read Viet Vu’s discussion of politicizing mass shootings and his data-driven analysis of when we can talk about tragedy.
• I quote from this article about the Humboldt Broncos GoFundMe and its unprecedented success.
• Here’s an article about the simultaneous GoFundMe campaigns for Coulten Boushie and Gerald Stanley.
• You can read more about Aymen Derbali, and his remarkable bravery during the Quebec Mosque shooting, here.
• The Judith Butler book I discuss is Frames of War: When is Life Grievable?, which is excerpted here.
• Kaarina asked me to link to this article, which asks whether self care is really available to everyone.
• And finally, I’d like to draw your attention to this piece about the parents of Jacob Leitch, one of the men who died in the bus accident last week. Specifically, this quote from his mother:

“I want to be part of something bigger,” Celeste said. “There is so much hurt in this province in so many ways, particularly with the First Nations community. There is so much tragedy and affliction in this world and they don’t get the attention they deserve sometimes. I have no idea what this is going to look like, but I want to start a movement of some sort. People are hurting in this province with the whole Colten Boushie trial and it’s time that people reach out. From hurt can come good.”

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The podcast theme song is “Mesh Shirt” by Mom Jeans off their album “Chub Rub.” Listen to the whole album here or learn more about them here. Kaarina’s theme song is “I Will” by Mitski. Follow me @hkpmcgregor, follow Kaarina @kaarinasaurus, and tweet about the podcast using #SecretFeministAgenda.

Secret Feminist Agenda is recorded on the traditional and unceded territories of the Squamish, Musqueam, and Tsleil-Waututh First Nations.

By popular request, and despite my personal disinclination towards sports, I’m finally talking about roller derby! With none other than brilliant and badass literature-scholar-slash-derby-player Gillian Roberts. After she very patiently explains to me what exactly roller derby is and how it differs from Whip It, we chat about women in sports, the link between hobbies and mental health, and why it’s good to keep learning new things, even (especially?) when you aren’t very good at them.

Here’s some stuff to read:

• First off, here’s Gillian writing about roller derby as part of a whole, excellent series of posts about Women, Academia, and Sport on the feminist academic blog Hook and Eye (if you look carefully you may find a post by me in there!)
• Here’s another post about roller derby and its complex relation to self-care: “Sometimes we hurt ourselves in order to protect ourselves. I believe this to be true—that hurting ourselves can be protection—but I don’t know how to talk about it, how to reconcile self-destruction with self-care.” CW in this one for eating disorders, mental illness, and self-harm. 
• If you didn’t know what we were talking about vis-à-vis ice-dancing couples and heteronormativity, you can read up on Virtue and Moir here.
• If you’d like to read a little more about trans women in derby, here’s a lovely starting point.
• And finally, go find your derby name.

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The podcast theme song is “Mesh Shirt” by Mom Jeans off their album “Chub Rub.” Listen to the whole album here or learn more about them here. Gillian’s theme song is “Cheated Hearts” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Secret Feminist Agenda is recorded on the traditional and unceded territories of the Squamish, Musqueam, and Tsleil-Waututh First Nations.

It’s a short one this week folks, but don’t worry, the feelings/minute ratio is exceptionally high. This episode isn’t about playing–not even in the killjoy sense of being about losing. Actually, it’s kind of about being sad, but it’s also about friendship and forms of care and what to do when someone you love is sad. Recording it made me feel better, and if you’re sad, I hope it makes you feel better, too. Here are some links:

• The webcomic I referenced is called “HOW TO: CARE FOR LITTLE SAD PERSON” by John Saddington (I suspect that’s a pseudonym)
• Here’s a lovely little article about how to practice consent in your friendships
• Want to create your own Emotional Earthquake Kit? I found this handy form that might be a good starting point!

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The podcast theme song is “Mesh Shirt” by Mom Jeans off their album “Chub Rub.” Listen to the whole album here or learn more about them here. Kaarina’s theme song is “I Will” by Mitski. Follow me @hkpmcgregor, follow Kaarina @kaarinasaurus, and tweet about the podcast using #SecretFeministAgenda.

Our series on play continues with a very special episode, requested by our own Kaarina Mikalson. Clare Mulcahy is a scholar and a gentleman, but in her free time she likes to play video games, and more importantly she likes to talk to her friends about them. Lucky you, you’re all her friends now, so enjoy listening in.

• Let’s start off with some facts about video game playing. This article is a few years old, but it lays out some important statistics, including just how many women are long-term gamers.
• Speaking of misogyny in gaming, here’s an article about that time a game randomly assigned players’ avatars a gender, and men were not impressed.
•  We talk about games as a helpful treatment for anxiety, and this article agrees: “For anyone who’s ever experienced anxiety, where every day tasks seem insurmountable and the only reward at the end of the path is another day living with your mental health issue, a fantasy world where plotlines are resolved is a pretty easy sell.”
• Are you sold? Ready for some recommendations? We talk about Stardew Valley, Night in the Woods, You Must Build a Boat, Broken Age, and Kingdom Rush: Frontiers. This is a great time to get into Stardew Valley, with the new multiplayer game on its way. Oh, and for any of you who arrived at this podcast by way of Witch, Please, you should know that the makers of Stardew Valley have a NEW MAGIC SCHOOL RPG coming soon!
• Finally, if you would like to dive into the deep weirdness that is Monster Factory, we recommend beginning with the Final Pam.

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The podcast theme song is “Mesh Shirt” by Mom Jeans off their album “Chub Rub.” Listen to the whole album here or learn more about them here. Clare’s theme song is the Hyrule Field Theme from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

Gosh, first failure and now limits, I’m just a barrel of fucking laughs, aren’t I? Anyway, this week I’m talking/thinking (talk-thinking) (thalking?) about both feeling out my personal limits — in terms of energy, emotional labour, etc. — and feeling out my limits in relation to others, especially where my whiteness leads me to believe that I can know and contain all the world’s truths. I obviously didn’t arrive at any of this thinking alone, so let me cite my sources:

• First off, shout out Vancouver’s Growing Room festival for working to build important space for feminist conversations.
• I cite the brilliance of Ijeoma Oluo, so I’m also going to tell you go to buy her book about race, which I’m halfway through and which is required reading for any white ladies out there who’d like to be less shit at talking about race, or to women of colour who want resources for talking to your white friends who are shit at talking about race.
• Third, my thinking about limits specifically came from Gwen Benaway’s contributions to a panel at this festival. You can start with Gwen’s answers to the Proust Questionnaire and then once you’re in love you can order her poetry here or here.
• Oh, and I also read from this thread by Nicole Cliffe about her friendship with Daniel Ortberg. So while you’re at it why don’t you read this stunning interview he gave about coming out as trans? Oh, and his new book. So many great books! We are truly blessed!

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The podcast theme song is “Mesh Shirt” by Mom Jeans off their album “Chub Rub.” Listen to the whole album here or learn more about them here. Kaarina’s theme song is “I Will” by Mitski. Follow me @hkpmcgregor, follow Kaarina @kaarinasaurus, and tweet about the podcast using #SecretFeministAgenda.

To clarify, I’m not claiming that the very brilliant Emily Riddle is bad at poker, but in this conversation we talk about dealing and playing cards, women’s relationship to recreational fun, and the liberating possibilities of being enduringly bad at something. We also talk about whether casinos, reparations, care work, tech bros, and cake. It’s a good time. Links:

• Last week I linked you to Emily’s piece about Colten Boushie. This week you should read her article “Forms of Freedom,” on Alutiiq artist-choreographer Tanya Lukin Linklater’s engagement with the work of Osage prima ballerina Maria Tallchief.
• I make some passing remarks about reparations, but you should read some more serious thinkers on the topic. Start with Ta-Nehisi Coates’ “The Case for Reparations,” then read about how the Canadian government is fucking up its settlement promises to Residential School survivors, then read this random post I found about how calling casinos reparations is a flawed argument, which reminded me of the need to think in more nuanced ways about the non-identity of anti-Black and anti-Indigenous state violence.
• I’m not a big fan of Vice (duh) but this profile of professional women poker players is worth a read.
• Finally, a link-filled article on why women are afraid to fail (hint: it’s the patriarchy) (warning: it’s going to make you mad).

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The podcast theme song is “Mesh Shirt” by Mom Jeans off their album “Chub Rub.” Listen to the whole album here or learn more about them here. Emily’s theme song is “There’s Your Trouble” by the Dixie Chicks. 

This minisode is the beginning of a short thematic arc on play, and like the good feminist killjoy I am, I decided to start it off by talking about failure. Specifically, I want to talk about a brilliant book — The Queer Art of Failure, by Jack Halberstam — that turned my understanding of failure inside out. (One of these days I’m going to do an episode on why I love critical theory. And an episode on Dungeons and Dragons. And an episode on taking tap dancing lessons as an adult. And an episode on feminism’s relationships to potato chips.) Anyway, if you’d like to read more about failure, here are some links!

• The fabulous feminist academic blog Hook&Eye has a number of posts on failure, but my favourite is probably Aimée Morrison’s “Failing, failure, failed,” which differentiates between failing and not-winning (not the same!)
• I also really value this essay on “The Importance of Failure” by librarian John Unsworth, who thinks in very specific ways about what it means for a project to fail, and why the space to fail is so fundamental to developing new knowledge. Fun!

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The podcast theme song is “Mesh Shirt” by Mom Jeans off their album “Chub Rub.” Listen to the whole album here or learn more about them here. Kaarina’s theme song is “I Will” by Mitski. Follow me @hkpmcgregor, follow Kaarina @kaarinasaurus, and tweet about the podcast using #SecretFeministAgenda.

Content warning for discussions of anti-Indigenous violence and residential schools.

This week I’m joined by brilliant Tuscarora writer Alicia Elliott, who generously sat down with me during her time at the University of British Columbia here in Vancouver. We talked about Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s fascination with Haudenosaunee women, the food pyramid as a mechanism of colonial violence, and why PETA needs to shut the fuck up about the seal hunt. Oh, and like a million other things. Here are some links if you want to follow along:

• First off, go read some of Alicia’s amazing work. Start with “A memo to Canada,” go on to “CanLit is a Raging Dumpster Fire,” and finish up with “Naming Ourselves,” written with Melanie Lefebvre.
• Now read up on how much more striking the wage gap is for women of colour
• If you’d like to grapple with Foucault’s ideas about power and life, the essay you want is “Society Must Be Defended, 17 March 1976”
• The book Alicia was trying to remember is The Clay We Are Made Of by Susan M. Hill
• If you’re interested in food and colonialism, check out Ian Mosby’s work
• Read more about the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada, especially the Calls to Action
• Finally, read this brilliant article by future-guest Emily Riddle and Lindsay Nixon on the killing of Coulten Boushie

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The podcast theme song is “Mesh Shirt” by Mom Jeans off their album “Chub Rub.” Listen to the whole album here or learn more about them here. Alicia’s theme song is “Rockers to Swallow” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.